Sunday, December 28, 2014

Hope - الأمل


A sometimes distant beacon of light that’s out of reach, but we know it’s there. Having hope, most of the time means, having a reason, a somebody, that helps you carry on.

At times you feel hopeless, with the weight of the world on your shoulders, the pressure building up in your head, the despair filling your heart. You turn to the next best thing, Someone who cares about you. These people usually listen, and hold you, they cry when you cry and smile when you smile. Consider yourself lucky to have such a someone in your life Because those who don’t, what do they do?

They’re easily eaten alive by the darkness emitted by their lost hearts.

The worst feeling you could possibly have as a human being is the feeling of not having anything or anyone to turn to when everything goes wrong, That feeling of being lost is what drives people to depression and, at one point, recklessness.

Currently going through this feeling, I understand it’s not anger that contributes to the pain because I’m not angry at anyone, and it’s nobody's fault I’m going through what I am. However the feeling of despair is all I know. Slowly, We learn how to cope with this feeling. It’s not in our nature to stay in such a state without doing something about it, Pretending that it’s all going to be alright in the end is a possible solution for serious cases, but such a solution is delusional in nature and useless in the long run. What does that leave?

What is left exactly is to think thoroughly, because most of the time there is always hope, there is always a solution, Sometimes you just gotta dig deep and look in the right places, you’ll find something.

As for myself? I choose to let the darkness eat me alive, and drown in my sorrows, but I have not and I will not lose hope, no matter how small the reason, the chance, the opportunity, Because you gotta stand for you believe in and fight the pain, if you can do that, you might have just proven that your cause is worth it.


V-XII-MMXIV Always here, Always waiting.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

The Lover Inside



Beth takes notes as her English teacher babbles on about a critique form essay, concentrating on what is being explained, her hand slowly gains weight on the pencil. She feels lost in the barrage of words being thrown at her having just come back from a vacation.

Her trance is awoken by the snapping of the tip of her HB2 Pencil. “Shit.” she exclaims. As she’s startled.
she looks to her right and calls out to a familiar face. “Oii Pedro, do you have a sharpener I can borrow, Hombre.”  Jokingly in a Mexican accent.
Pedro Laughs and passes the Sharpener to Beth, whispering to her in a Hispanic charm.
Beth Smiles an remembers the first time she spoke to Pedro, after a few tries where she backed out, how could she forget, it was indeed a week ago.

Later in the Courtyard, Beth walks to chill with her new “Friends”, yes it was an ethnic/cultural cocktail. her group consisted of Pedro, Michael, and Anna.
Michael and Anna were from Germany and Russia respectively. Beth had her own way with every single one of them. Just like she addressed Pedro in a way that kept him amused and engaged in the conversation, she had that same technique with the rest of her friends and quickly became a people’s person; That one person that no matter how long you talk to they will make you feel better about yourself.

Months passed by and Beth truly believed that she had found the ticket to end all those past years of torment, By this point she had forgotten her horrible past, all she could wake up to was the thought of. “What am I going to do today.” The Beth she once knew was gone, she hadn’t painted in a month, hadn’t picked up her guitar in 2. She couldn't barley remember the last time she spent a weekend in with her family. Beth faded away slowly, a mirror arose in her place, taking what the people want and putting it all together.

One day Beth walks into her only class where she's with all  3 of her closest friends. As the session starts she tries to turn her head to anyone from her group. . . her head would not budge.
She tries to open her mouth and call out for Anna, maybe talk to her about the newest piece of gossip on campus. . . Her mouth would not open.
She tries to move in any way. . . Nothing. She’s paralyzed, Beth takes a better look at the board in front of her and realizes that it’s dripping a dark liquid. In seconds the whole room is black and she’s all alone except for a figure arising in front of her.

An exact copy of Beth is now standing in her face, dark seas fill the space of her eyes while the rest of her glows white.
She calls out for Beth. “Hello darling, where do you think you’re going”
Beth replies. “wh.. wha.. what do you want from me? Who are you!?”
The Entity replies “ I am Beth, the real Beth. you are nothing more than a fake copy, you lost the originality you were born with a long time ago. . . . but most importantly, you betrayed me”
Beth shakes with fear. “yes” Continues the entity “Your first true love, your most loyal, we suffered together in one another's arms, comforting each other down the road. . .but now it’s over”

“I must rid this world of you, for you are now a body with no purpose, Just a bag where people dumped their attractions, what good are you to yourself? ”

Beth’s eyes go blank, and she’s unavailable to her classroom. . . .

She gets up at the end, ignores every soul, and rushes home, works on rebuilding what was once herself.
"nothing like painting to some songs” Beth’s whispers with dark eyes flowing, the tortured screams of her corrupted self motivate her for the coming months of the Healing process.


Definitely one of my weirder short stories.
Inspired by a person who doesn’t know how great she is.
“If you don’t love yourself, how do you expect others to.”
I dedicate this to Zee.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

LAU “Halloween” 2014

On The 31st of October 2011, LAU became a battleground for the students and/or members of the “8” and “14” coalitions. Rocks, tables, and chairs were thrown above the wall from both sides. 7 Students were injured, 3 of them taken to the ER.

This fight would later be known as the Infamous “Mashkal” that took place on Election day of the student council, scaring a good number of students from voting or even being present during elections in the following years.

3 years later, A series of events cause Tension between the same two sides. But all the people who witnessed the events, still doesn't know what happened on that day. I bring to you an Insider Explanation of that day in detail.

Upper gate, A well known Spot where Students of the Shiite sect Meet, Hang out, and gather Usually since they've grown in numbers several years back, is where LAU decides to hold a Halloween Party. Normally this wouldn’t be an Issue, but on the 6th Day of Ashouraa, when hundreds of Students are mourning the Death of one of the Most Important men in Islamic History, It was a Big Issue.

This is how more than 250 Students greeted LAU’s Halloween Party.

Days before Friday, the Coalition spoke with the Person Responsible for the Event in LAU’s Administration. And an agreement was Reached stating that “The music would be low volume for 5 min while a single dance would be performed.” Instead of the full hour of music and dancing .
Had LAU not reached an Agreement with Shiite population on campus, and Played music During the Sacred time of Ashouraa in a place known to always be full of people who commemorate this occasion, it would have been a Violation of a Code in Lebanese Law that Clearly States “The Disrespect, Violation, or attack of a Religious occasion is Punishable by Prosecution in Lebanese Court.” 

LAU’s answer to being Accused of these actions? “We didn't know it was Ashouraa” “What a Coincidence” “We'll be more careful next year” The same Empty answers they gave when they had a similar event Last Ashouraa that was also shut down.

After several Hours of sitting in for the Halloween party,
a new issue Arises. The “14 March” Coalition gathers about 50-100 people Outside upper gate to celebrate the Deceased Rafic Al-Hariri’s Birthday. After LAU prevented them from having music, they looked for Different ways to provoke the Demonstrators from the “8”  Coalition. Which including Singing, Shouting, Clapping, and Giving out White flowers. The Demonstrators showed great Patience, and Gave these Provocative actions little attention as they Marched down to Sage Hall to give space for the people passing in and out of the gate.

photo (5)
At the end of The march to Sage, It is decided on to Shout for a Prayer for the Prophet and His family after this Victory.

The 8 March Coalition walks down to sage Shouting their Praise, In victory.

At the end of the Day students were confused and didn't know what was happening, most people took pictures and Selfies. Few Understood what took place, But for us, We knew that on this day The Sons of Husain Ibn Ali (AS) Proved Victorious and up to the challenge whenever Their Rights were Violated.
photo (4)
A Group Picture with the Head Of Security at LAU, Shows from the beginning a Peace Protest is in mind. And there is no plan of violating the Rights of others.

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”― Friedrich Nietzsche


Friday, September 5, 2014

Up in Flames.

She looked out her window, Past the iron bars, into the Storm. Desperately searching, as she would everyday.
She fails to spot what she seeks and scratches into her notepad the number “ 98 ’’.
She falls back on her bed and sighs out of frustration as her hair Fades, getting lighter and weaker as time passes her by.
she closes her eyes, only to see him. “Rovana” he screams.
She winces in pain as she remembers Connor’s Betrayal. Her first and only lover. Blinded by his love so bad she could hardly figure out he was the one who Aided her foes in Slaughtering her people. Her heart is torn in half as she remembers the Blood, the way she took the lives of an army in a swift rush of Anger. But she only sheds a tear remembering the way she ripped Connor’s Heart out with her burning claws and tossing it into the fiery depth of hell.
She screams in a low undertone, as she would every other day she remembered his face after that last blow.
Three Minutes into the Silence, she hears a whisper in the wind.
“Could it be” she ponders as she raises her head off the Tear soaked sheets.
“Rovana”. The voice more audible this time.
Rovana rushes to the window “No living being could make it past the defenses, my mind must be playing tricks on me.”
“This is no Trick my dear Rovana, I’ve Traveled long and far to find you”
Rovana hasn’t had any contact with any living being in months. She curiously opens small talk with the Stranger. “Who are you, how did you get here, what do you want?”
He finally appears to her as a dark and shadowy figure flying towards her window sill. “I, Mi Lady, am ShadowRein, the Count of Chaos and destruction. and I have come to free you.”
Rovana smiles. “What makes you so sure I want to be freed?”
ShadowRein smiles back “Well you did order your father and guards to lock you up on this Cold and stormy mountain. But why? because you slaughtered your people’s sworn enemies? I know you miss your power.”
Rovana Pouts “But I’m hideous in my final form.”
ShadowRein Smiles “On the Contrary, there’s nothing I’d rather see more than you in your Battle form again.”
Rovana is flattered But can’t help but wonder how this Creature knows her or knows any of this information, or how he got up here.
They talk for hours and hours at a time, and the more they talk the more Rovana feels safe and alive for the first time since she’s been locked away. She finally decides, it is ShadowRein who will mend her aching heart, re-invigorate her Dying Soul, fill her heart with the love she didn’t know she desired.
ShadowRein reveals he has been with her since she was a child, watching her, taking care of her, keeping her out of harms way until she was strong enough o defend herself. Always in the form of her shadow or a crow sometimes He would take the form of the stormy rain to sooth her nerves as she slept..
A few minutes before Sunrise ShadowRein Reveals his true form. “ Rovana, I am a shadow elemental, the last of my kind and I will release you at your command.”
Rovana being a Fire Elemental, the Servant of light, his exact Opposite, they were Ying and Yang, Neither of them cared.
She whispered “Release me, My dear ShadowRein.”
They kissed through the Iron Bars as ShadowRein brought the sky down and made the storm pass. The sun rose majestically a moment after and light warmed Rovana’s pale skin. she picked up her notepad and it quickly burst into flames at her burning hands.
She rises of the ground as the fire Engulfs her body and rips the Bars off the wall to be with her Beloved.
They fly down together, Hand in Hand, to the kingdom.
Right as she’s about to open the Palace doors she can feel her heart beat again pumping fiery blood into her veins. She hovers into the Palace with ShadowRein at her side and kneels at her Father’s throne bursting into tears of joy.
The king hugs his Daughter as the savor the emotional moment. Until the king sees ShadowRein.
“How dare you bring him here Rovana” he yells. The palace shakes of fear. “you should have finished him off the second you had the chance”
Rovana Pleads of her Father to leave him be. But it was inevitable.
She was persistent on her relationship with him.
The king after much discussion decides to Banish them both to the Wastelands. Disowning his only heir to the throne.
Rovana feels as though Boulders were dropped on her heart. she was crushed. ShadowRein looks at her with tears in his eyes and asks that she fulfills her fathers will.
The tension grows strong in the room and ShadowRein Breaks the silence. “ Rovana, I never loved you. . . . it was all a setup to bring you back to the Kingdom of fire and light, No one in his right mind would Love someone as violent and Hideous as you are.”
Rovana feels the weight of a thousand Mountains come crashing down on her head. “ ShadowRein, is this the truth? do you really feel this way?”
He Nods his head as he pushes her away.
The light hitting Rovana from the window Intensifies, as she rises higher off the ground, Her eyes glow with vigorous flames rushing at the sides. Her hair Turns a red as dark as blood and she goes into the Rage of Connor as a fire Storm Erupts from her heart. she levels the Palace around her destroying everything in her path, as the fire settles she looks around to see her Dead father, laying on the ground beside his guards.
Rovana Then makes her way towards the Dying ShadowRein. “Goodbye my love” she whispers in a wicked tone with a smile on her face as she Obliterates him in a shot of relentless flame.
as his Soul leaves his body he whispers back “You’re finally free my love, see you on the other side”
Years later Rovana looks to that same spot, while sitting on her Flaming throne her eyes filled with hatred and anger.
She then looks at her army and yells “The time of the flames has come my people, we attack at dawn”
A soldier prepares his only son for battle “Make your father proud my son, the time of the Bitter Queen has come”

Sunday, August 10, 2014

What doesn’t kill you might just hunt you down.

She Ran with every last Breath her Intoxicated Lungs could carry.
Why would she run? she chose her own fate, was warned several times.
What sane person chooses to purchase Eternal torture, while fully aware of the consequences. She wanted to scream, hoping someone could hear her but she was all alone in this baron land. The black leaves and fruits of her checkered actions whipped past her like scorching bullets grazing her pale skin. The pain and sorrow fails to stop her, she’s adamant on getting away this time, But That’s exactly what IT wants her to feel. . .

IT walks steadily, with no worries, Letting her have a good dose of confidence. With every pace IT get’s stronger Savoring every bit of energy for when IT finally gets to lay ITs black claws on her. IT can hear Her rustling through ITs Endless Jungle, Entangled in ITs Embrace. There’s no escaping what you chose to fill you heart. It’s Inevitable and only time separates her from the Monstrosity she created.
Her Heart feels like it could stop any second. Her lungs Burn as if engulfed in the Hell of her Sins.
She stops. . .
It’s been dark for years and Running has proved to have the same outcome. She sits down on the ground, sinking an Inch deep in the ashes of her blazing soul. She gives up, no one is there for her, no one ever was. Not her Oblivious parents, Not her frustrated friends, none of her loved ones cared anymore.
She faces her fate, catches her breath, and Stands up facing her doom, Embracing the fact of her shaming loss.
IT phases out of the darkness and stands in front of her. ITs face centimeters from hers, IT’s body almost connecting with hers.
IT asks her: “Are you ready.”
She Replies with tears streaming down her face: “Lets get it over with.”

IT takes her face into ITs hands and Kisses her in a way no softer than than a boulder colliding with a mountain. She’s taken into ITs ecstasy. IT Lets her go and she’s Lit. There’s no going back after the first taste. IT backs away before pouncing on her Shredding what clothes she did have, all that was protecting her. Her skin Burns with every touch, her soul Blazes with every shove, and her brain goes numb as the time goes by. She Stares into ITs Empty and Ruthless eyes and knows she’s lost. IT Exhales it’s Final breath over her Skin, She feels the heat. IT looks at her In disgust, at ITs prey one last time before entering her, and disappearing. . . 
She opens her eyes, and can finally see. The sun is shining as she’s been walking down the street, to think 5 min ago she was arguing with her Mother. She smiles, taking in a Breath of the clean Summer air.
She coughs. . .
Looks down at her hand, and Realizes her cigarette is finished, She flicks it towards the street, and reaches for her Pocket to Light another. She thinks back at the Pleasure, and the excitement she’s been through and says to her self.

“Some things are just worth it.”


Friday, August 8, 2014

The Price of Love.

You never know what the next lesson is going to be. That's because you're not supposed to.  You have to go through a lot before figuring it out. At some point you look back at your life, you look back at the things you've done, and the choices you've made you either praise or curse yourself. But considering almost no one is a perfectionist you'll probably bag  on yourself. But mostly you wonder ... how on earth did my mind , body , and soul ever say yes to that? I caught myself thinking about it and I concluded that maybe the offer was very tempting. It appealed to my senses in a way I couldn't resist.  Perhaps its because I have never experienced anything like it before.  You see, growing up I managed to create a sustainable life for myself I was pretty guarded with high walls. But they came tumbling down as soon as I allowed that organ to beat ... he gave it life but it destroyed mine .

Another great post by an Author with a promising future in writing. a post from the heart Heart. Razan Kataya People, Remember the name. Winking smile

Friday, April 11, 2014

Forever And Ever?



Forever. . .
What happens when you’re hooked on something that exists just as much as your reasoning skills do, at the time. We forget about Reality, or what could be, or what will be or what was, Completely blind to anything besides the present. Love is a truly phenomenal feeling, if you could call it a feeling.

How often have you seen or met different people with different ways they describe Love. The definitions are countless. Love has become a perception. A Non-existent, Bittersweet, Perception, ready to devour souls and occupy minds with endless redundant thoughts. It engraves itself deep in our psyche resulting in a people that will hurt, that could potentially break the norms and rules of society to defend this Non-existent Leech.

It is agreed on that the best thing in life is to love and be loved in return. To find joy and pleasure in Taking care of a person who finds an equal amount of pleasure and joy in taking care of you. Your perfect opposite, someone who has that piece of the puzzle you’re missing. Someone you could see becoming one person with. Someone ready to change you and be changed for the better.

But Everything has a price.
Love is an extreme word that usually doesn’t go smoothly with those who don’t understand it. The aftermath? Adultery, Mistrust, Lies, Divorces, and pure emotional pain.
If you’ve found the perfect person and you absolutely would still take a bullet for them after spending time with their best and their worst, then all that’s left is committing to this person. Passing through the hurdles life throws at you such as; Distance, trust, and having your differences etc. . .

Sometimes things go great and the sun shines everyday, other times you gotta admit when you’re beat and just let the feeling destroy you, instead of denying and trying to get it off your mind. In the end it will take you apart piece by piece until you go numb and can’t feel anymore.

Loving or being with someone is all about Back and Forth, Knowing when you’re outdone or beat, and Knowing when to talk and what to say and knowing when to share the silence and how. After all we do Adore those who ignore us, and Ignore those who adore us. The Human Nature is Peculiarly Demented .

“There’s Nothing more Interesting than a Person who Embraces Self-Demolition”