But one day i was in English 102 and my teacher started talking about how she took herself out to lunch and dessert and then a book last weekend. I curiously asked her how she could do that, telling her id lose my mind if i didn't do anything all weekend, even if it was something i didn't like doing at least i wasn't alone, she replied in a way that changed me, this is more or less the exact convo :
Do you easily make a lot of friends? Are you that lovable person that people enjoy being around all the time? obviously my answer to both questions was a big fat No.
Do you know why?
no i don’t, i guess maybe i can be annoying sometimes?
no its because if you don’t like being around yourself how do you expect other people to?
i started to understand as she went on
if you can go out with yourself for a whole day, have a good time, not care about what people might say, then you've accomplished something people almost find impossible to do.
when you become your favorite person, you wont care about all those fake friends that you talk to here at the University who are gonna judge you anyway. i instantly knew she was right after that, as soon as class was over i took my laptop with me to Costa feeling paranoid that somewhere somebody was judging me, sat down, ordered a coffee and continued to work on a novel i'm working on for a satisfying 3 hours, it was the first step. There’s nothing wrong with being alone sometimes, if you’re that amazing person you claim to be then you should love it when you're alone, instead of fearing the very thought of loneliness and judging those around you.
It was major help to me and i hope it helps you to